How did you find out that your girlfriend has spent too many hours playing 7-minutes-in heaven? Your feelings of hurt and sadness are entirely understandable. Often that sorting means trying on different relationships, making mistakes, being hurt, and sometimes being the one who does the hurting. Expecting a proposal, Livvy gets dumped instead. She dated before and after the six year break up. Please, if there are any answers or you have any advice you think would help in any way, let me know. Fourth, the only problem I see is that you told her you didn't care about her past when you actually do. We don't want to know that our girlfriend has been with more guys then we can count; the thought alone is enough to makes us nauseous.
Do you get haunted by curiosity about your partner's past? These four reasons explain why the longstanding tradition came about of men being rewarded for multiple partners while women get socially punished for similar promiscuity. You start presuming that she reacts in certain situations because of her emotional baggage from past relationships. You bringing it up and handling it the way you do only makes it worse for her. Open communication is critical in relationships. Sixty years after the emergence of the birth control pill, it is still very much a brave new world and dating market. The best advice I can give to anyone who is going through this, is to literally step outside this and look at this situation from another perspective. Many of the responders to this thread demonstrated great insight.
So her intention wasn't to lie to you, but to protect herself while trying to be honest. Granted this can be hard, but it's not impossible. And we need other men in our lives, not least to give us some understanding, and offer potential solutions when it comes to crises in our romantic relationships. What I am suggesting is that you need to own this problem. Try to think of these things when you start thinking of her past: The last time you two hugged Your First Kiss How you felt when you first saw her Etc. Take your email and this response with you to the first session to jumpstart the work. So, I usually just keep my mouth shut about the things in her sexual past that bother me to keep from hurting her even more.
I will fight for what I deserve: happiness, love and peace of mind. I didn't care, but I didn't want them to keep talking about it. Chances are that you have had just as many if not more sexual partners than she has. Realize that both her and all of the other people that participated in her sexual past have most likely gotten well past it and the only reason that it perpetuates is you. He arrives at his dead uncle's estate during the rehearsal the night before the wedding; he starts in, taking his brother aside, trashing marriage. Say a man sleeps around with a bunch of different women.
Think about it: If you never allowed yourself to become embroiled in endless ruminations about your partner's past, would you technically still suffer from retroactive jealousy? Does that mean it won't bother you knowing that she has slept with 24 dudes? If you're fully engaged in life, have a hobby or job that interests and excites you, have a great set of friends or family and are generally engaged in regular activities that give you a sense of purpose, you'll be way less likely to suffer from retroactive jealousy. If your girlfriend's past bothers you, become proactive about dealing with it if you value the relationship. However, men are haunted by the need to know everything about their girlfriend's past. She is 21, and im the 8th guy she had sex with. I know that sounds like a lot, and the feelings you describe can feel like a lot to get past.
How can you look past her past? Hang in there, I understand your viewpoint 100%. Is my worry based on logic, facts, evidence? Good luck, and please do come back and let us know how it all goes!. They are completely lost in the sack. I am actually in the same boat and I did end up losing her due to the amount of times I made her cry regarding the subject but now we are back together and I realized the bigger picture and I wanna share it with you, hopefully it can help you. Listen man, you said she has told you she regrets it.
Try to pinpoint the exact nature of your thoughts and divide them into different types. And it bothers me that she gave it up so easily in the past, and It especially bothers me because it makes me feel like maybe im not as special as I think. Do we not talk about it at all? Consider your own past dating experiences. Regardless of how you feel about promiscuity, we can all agree that a guy who manages to rack up a lot of sexual partners has to have some skills. It perpetuates all the problems I want to work away from. A man needs social intelligence, interpersonal skills, persistence, thick skin, and plain old dumb luck. A woman has more to lose from choosing bad sex partners than a man does.
Draw a line in the sand and move forward from here and leave the past in the past. Polyamorous relationships can be a hell of a lot of work, and hundreds of millions of people around the world function best in monogamous unions. Women tend to accept past relationships of their partners more readily. This means she likes you above all her other options and has committed to you. Be honest with her, tell her you don't like hearing about it, but at the same time you understand that we all have pasts.