I was just in some kind of numb pain all the way through, and wondered how many times you have sex before it starts to feel good and not hurt. It is extremely important to feel comfortable physically, mentally and emotionally if you want to maximize pleasure. Is it supposed to hurt this much? I am able to use tampons — I'm not that small — but I don't know what the problem is. He lead me where he wanted to go. After living vicariously through The Notebook and just about every other Nicholas Sparks inspired-film, you can only dream that your first time will be as romantic and satisfying as the passionate love scenes those couples have.
Is it going to be as disappointing? First of all, your hymen may already be broken. Once you begin to explore your own body, you will know what to expect from yourself with a partner when that time comes. Katie currently interns for the Social Media Specialist at UofM! When thinking about sex, worrying about pain is a perfectly normal concern to have! A female reader, , writes 16 January 2010 : This made me feel a million times better. I would say at least 90% of that feeling came from feeling safe with him. Also, before you even have intercourse, you could have broken your hymen when using tampons, during masturbation or even with strenuous exercise. Anything that happened in the moment was part of the moment. She had only had sex 3 times, however spaced out over a year previous, and when we started having sex we did it quite alot.
I have to ask myself things like if I want to deal with the risks and have what I need in order to do that, how I feel about the person I'm considering for a partner, how they're feeling, how I feel about myself at the time, if I even have time for sex, or if that's really the thing I even want at the time maybe I just want a snuggle, maybe I really want to talk, maybe I just need some sleep, maybe I would prefer to masturbate. All those parts and all that diversity leaves a wide birth for variation. I thought that the best I could ever hope for was a half-hearted attempt to make me climax every week or two. Once you know this, you can implement it into your love-making with your partner. Now imagine that you flawlessly dive off of a five metre diving board into an Olympic sized swimming pool and as soon as you hit the water, the super concentrated liquid version of your favourite food rushed into every pore of your entire body. Sometimes there is a push and pull in energies. What makes you both feel good? Emotionally and psychologically it can be like one of those intense all-night conversations you can have with someone you really connect with or not , like being put in a blender or not , like seeing a movie that just grabs your guts and makes you laugh or cry so hard you worry you won't be able to stop or not , like you're just going through the motions of something you thought you wanted to do, but then just didn't find all that interesting once you did it or not , like being connected to someone else to the degree you can't figure out where you end and they start or not , like being with someone else during something incredibly personal or important, like dying or birth or not , like finding a long-lost friend you never thought you'd see again or not or like seeing yourself in a mirror or not.
A reader, anonymous, writes 24 December 2005 : lolololol. I'm worried about the pain too, trust me girl, i know how you're feeling. Though i guess it's too soon for me to really form an opinion. And I would take each one into consideration. Starting at my ankles, arching into my back and flowing out of the top of my head. I've been having sex for 27 years since I was 13 years old and i'm still wondering the same thing. I mean im only 17 i dont realy know but my advice is, make sure its with someone you want to loose your virginity to, be relaxed, lubricated, and somewhat aroused.
Becuse you can control how deep he goes in and after a couple of thrusts the pain should start to ease. I would rather not feel anything then it hurt. However, it does have things in common with other experiences we have. We were covered in sweat, but it never even crossed our minds. Foreplay is a great and extremely fun way to get things started! It was my choice nd I've got no regrets at all. This will indeed lessen in time, the more that you do it, but being very aroused and relaxed will enhance the experience for you.
But all I got to say i no matter if you go through with it or not, make sure it's the right person. It was awkward, and we were both madly in love at the time. Perhaps it was the excitement of going to the next level, or the fact that having to pause for a minute in amongst lovemaking just to unwrap and rollon can be a mild mood killer. Foreplay is very important as well. Nothing felt forced or rehearsed. To be totally honest, the best lover I ever had fucked me into oblivion.
Do you feel able, with that person, to talk pretty openly together about sex and everything around it, and to feel comfortable in your own skin? If pain or discomfort with penetration continues, consider talking with a health care provider about what you are experiencing. I like to talk to people about sex -- be it alone or with a partner -- as primarily being about free personal expression in the moment, just like the way we may tend to dance or experience dance is about free personal expression in the moment. We were putting too much pressure on it, I didn't feel anything. Play around with differnet things, some women are happy with just a clit teaser, others need the feeling of something inside to get off. You don't have to be in love with someone to have great sex, trust me, but you do have to have the basic communication down and the mutual respect for each person involved.
The third time for me was the best , was when it started feeling good. You may feel a bit uncomfortable at first but trust me it works. The most important thing is to 'get back on the horse that threw you' as it were. You are absolutely consumed by it. So, even with my saying all that, you may put the same bite of cake in your mouth and have a totally different experience, or find that that cake I thought was so delicious tastes like total crap to you. If you are interested in seriously considering or having sex, I'd encourage you to take a look at that checklist. What we do, the way we do it, how we feel about it, how it feels, what we like and dislike: all of these things are going to tend to vary based on the unique person we are at any given time, and how freely we are able to and do express ourselves and when a partner is involved, how free that person is in their expression as well.
I mean it's nice being near my bf and all but it doesnt feel good to me, it hurts sometimes, but other than that it's boring to me. Instead of tackling the issue of things to avoid in the bedroom, I decided to ask my four most eloquent, self-aware, heterosexual female friends what amazing sex felt like for them, in their words. And what if your worst nightmare comes true? Sex does tend to feel different — how different varies — than other things we do with our hearts, bodies and minds. We tell each other what we want, which gets each other off too when you talk dirty lke that, asking for it from each other. Do you want to be very intimate, vulnerable and close with that person? Oh yeah, and after he pushes through your hymen you can continue having sex slowly as long as you feel comfortable with it. There was no self-consciousness… just pure, in the moment ecstasy.